How does one get back to writing fanfic? Should I even still try to?

[gekidasa]

In most of my fandoms, I seldom write fic, and I only do short little fics when the mood strikes, generally that can be finished in one day, or 2 or 3 at most. MDZS has been different. I've probably written more sangcheng fics than I've written any other fics in total.

However, for awhile now, the well has been running dry. It's a combination of losing spaces where I can discuss the ship (which is probably what fueled the fic writing in the first place) and real life being busy (not in a bad way).

Anyway, I feel like it's now been over a year that I've been wanting to get back in the mood for it, because I do love to live with a story for the ship I like, to be plotting and writing, and I miss it. But on the other hand... I don't know if it's time to just accept the urge to write is either disappearing or has already done so, and just... move on.

Comments

[geraineon]

Mm, I've seen people take hiatus from writing before and I think it's normal. It's hard to push through when you don't feel like it, and losing the spaces where you can bounce ideas off/just joyfully share story seeds, does make it a lot harder. Is it writing for this ship what you want, or writing fic in general?

[gekidasa]

I want to keep writing sangcheng. I’m not ready to let go, basically. I have two WIPs that I would love to finish, even if it’s not to the extent that I originally planned.

Mostly it makes me sad. Like I said, I don’t feel like I’m reading to move on from this ship.

[starandrea]

I have been struggling tremendously with a language shift in my fic writing - I love writing, and I want to be writing all the time (even though it always feels hard, ugh, but I still love it!) but the last few years I've been so interested in studying Chinese that the hours and hours I would normally spend writing fic (in English) felt like they were preventing me from spending time on Chinese.

For me it seemed like the natural solution was to start writing fic in Chinese, but (as probably anyone in the world could have told me) it has been so much harder than "just switch to a different language!" I've been writing in English so long, and I'm so used to it, that writing in any other language feels almost impossible - unnatural and VERY limiting and frustrating.

But once I had started writing in Chinese, I found that giving up and trying to go back to English, which I did at least twice, felt futile and boring. Writing in English no longer brought me the joy it had before, which was discouraging and pretty upsetting, not gonna lie. ...On the other hand, I guess it pushed me to keep trying with Chinese!

So now I feel stuck: I don't enjoy writing in English the way I did, and I'm terrible at writing in Chinese. It takes forever and it's really not any good, but... I just like writing so much that I keep going. Maybe someday I'll feel proud of my work again, but in the meantime I'm just looking for anything that helps me keep going: prompt challenges, daily word counts, posting whatever I can to make it feel like I'm accomplishing something.

I don't know if any of that feels relatable, but it's what I thought of when I read your post: I really empathize with the feeling of struggle in something I love and want to keep loving, and I don't feel like there's really anyone I can talk to about it.

...So, I guess, even if it's not relatable, thanks for listening :) I'm listening too, and rooting for you on whatever path you decide to follow ♥

[gekidasa]

It is relatable 🫶🏼

Part of why I no longer am writing is because I’m doing a lot of things irl that I’m enjoying a lot. Pottery. Learning Chinese like you. I miss writing because I enjoyed having my head filled with scenarios for a ship i like a lot. It’s a very giddy feeling.

Anyway, funnily enough I HAVE written a bit of sangcheng… in Chinese. It’s a fun and effective way to study haha! Of course the little sangcheng paragraphs and dialogues I write when I study are not actually plotted out fics, but they’ve been fun!

[groundwiremantaray]

Aw man, it's tough wanting to write but not having the motivation. I will say, as much as I love reading your stories and hearing your ideas - if it's causing you more stress than satisfaction, it's totally okay to step back! Writing fic isn't the only valid way to be a fan.

EDIT: that said, if you do want writing encouragement I'm happy to cheerlead on that front ^^ or for any other means of engaging with* Sangcheng that might feel more comfortable / less pressured.

*not sure if this is the precise verb I want but I can't think of a better one

[gekidasa]

It's not. What it does is making me sad, because I don't WANT to let go. I miss the giddiness of it. I really like talking to you about sangcheng, I just get weird about messaging people.

[gekidasa]

And replying to your edit, thank you 💜💚
I will strive to not be weird about messaging 😅